The Secret
by hbkcenaortonaddict
Summary: John Cena returns home before shooting his new movie for WWE. It's there that he learns a secret that will change his life forever.
1. Returning Home

He threw the last bit of belongings into his bag before zipping it shut and sighing. It had been a long 14 days, but the work was now over with and he would be boarding yet another flight in a few hours, heading home. He couldn't remember the last time he was home; it had been quite some time.

He had a short vacation before the shooting of his next movie _Legendary _would begin, and returning to West Newbury was just what he needed. It would give him the time to see his parents and siblings, something he had neglected for far too long. After his bitter break-up with his former fiancée Liz, he had immersed himself into his work without relenting. His body was getting worn out and now more than ever, he needed the break.

He knew it was inevitable. Their break-up hadn't been completely sour, but it was blistering enough to leave him with scars. When it came to women and any future dating, he wasn't pushing the issue and he wasn't looking, either. It had been six months and still, the lasting memories of that cold, rainy night in Boston, her angry words and the echo of her hand connecting with his check was enough to send shivers through him.

He knew he had problems with commitment. Not in the sense of cheating, like most men. John had always been the one to jump the gun and regret the decision down the road. Commitment didn't scare him; when it came to women, his lack of judgment was off. He forced himself into believing that things would work, but it only led him in the position he was in now. Two angry, ex-fiancés and $450,000 worth of rings collecting dust at his house.

He had adapted the mantra 'Never Quit' to every aspect of his life. He didn't like knowing he walked away from something and perhaps could be labeled a quitter. That was the last thing anyone could call him; and besides being the honest, straight-forward person he was, it was what defined his character the most.

He draped the bag over his shoulder and made his way through the door. The building was almost empty by now, save for the few wrestlers who took their time in packing for their flights home. There were a few security guards scattered about, John noted, as he walked towards the exit.

As soon as the crisp, night air hit his face, he got his second wind and a sense of excitement came over him. When he had the chance to return home, he always went to Tampa instead of his hometown of West Newbury, Massachusetts. Usually his stay was only for a few days, so it only gave him enough time to do his laundry, repack a new travel bag for the road and relax for a day before he boarded another flight for the next round of wrestling shows.

Besides seeing his family, he couldn't wait to see all the friends he hadn't visited for what felt like ages. Especially his childhood friend, Apryl. He hadn't been able to visit with her during his last trip to Boston, which had been almost 2 years prior to this visit. The last time the two had talked, she had been going through a rough divorce and getting her life reestablished for herself and her son.

Catching up with her was always fun and now he couldn't wait to relax and drink a few beers in their favorite hang-out, _Hometown_, just catching up. He always had a good time when he returned home, and he had a feeling this time wouldn't disappoint either.

* * *

He heard the annoying tone distantly at first, before it seemed to get louder with every passing second. Knowing he would have to open his eyes eventually to silence the noise, he threw the covers from his body and reached for his cell phone. After wiping the sleep from his eyes, he glanced at the screen, realizing it was his younger brother, Sean calling.

"What?" he yelled into the phone, a yawn escaping his lips.

"Good morning to you too, grump." his brother said sarcastically.

"I didn't get in until late." John recalled. "So, what's up?"

"Dad wanted me to call to let you know we're having a cook out this afternoon. He invited just about everyone. He told me to tell you to get your ass over here as soon as you can." Sean said laughing.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be there shortly." John said, slamming the phone shut and shaking his head.

He laughed to himself, knowing his father would go full out on his first day back home. He was silly to think he would get a relaxing day with no commitments. That wasn't his dad. He knew he was happy to have his son back for a short time, and he was going to make a big deal about it while he was in town.

As he looked at the clock, he realized it was already past noon. He knew a quick shower was out of the question and instead, he selected a few things from his bag before making his way into the bathroom to brush his teeth and get dressed.

Without a second thought, he grabbed his cell phone and raced out the door towards his SUV. It was already warm out for a Massachusetts morning in May, but he wasn't complaining. His recent overseas tour with the WWE saw weather barely reaching 20 degrees in some areas and he welcomed the warm weather.

As he drove up to his dad's house, he chuckled seeing the packed driveway and the cars that spilled out into the street. It should've been illegal, he thought, but knowing his older brother Dan, who was a sergeant for the local police department, in this instance it would go unnoticed.

As he made his way around the side of the house, he could hear the voices filling the backyard and the smell of grilling burgers and steaks filled his senses. He had missed the random Cena barbecues that would happen year round. His dad never was one to plan for things in advance. He always announced things at unselected times and the family would go with it.

"John!" his dad called from the grill, holding up a pair of tongs.

"Hey Pops!" John called back, as he ran up to the elder Cena and embraced him.

"We're so glad you're home, son. Did you have a good trip?" his dad asked, adjusting the glasses on his face.

"Yeah, it wasn't bad." John replied, glancing around the yard. "Did you have to invite everyone?"

His dad chuckled, before John was attacked from behind by his brothers. The slew of men fell to the ground, his dad looking on and rolling his eyes at his son's horseplay. There was never a dull moment when all five of his kids were present and today wasn't going to be an exception.

"Alright!" his dad said, elevating his voice.

The boys rose to their feet, all smiles, before making their way back around to the pool. John dusted his shirt off, then fixed his hat before grabbing a hot dog from the grill and munching on it.

"She's inside if that's what you were getting at." his dad replied, not looking at him.

"Who?" John said, knowing full well who he was referring to before her name was mentioned.

"Apryl. She got here about 15 minutes ago and just took over the kitchen." his dad said laughing.

"Things haven't changed much, have they?" John asked, chuckling.

"I don't know." his dad shrugged, before looking at his son. "You'll have to ask her that."

"Dad..." John said, sighing. "...don't start that, alright?"

Without waiting for a reply, he turned around, heading for the double doors at the back of the house. Before he could take a step, he saw her exiting the house, a tray in both of her hands. Her sunglasses sat perfectly on top of her long, auburn hair as she looked from side to side before descending the steps and placing the trays on the picnic table.

As she looked up, their eyes locked, a look of shock coming across her features. He smiled slowly, his dimples plastered on his face. She screamed with excitement and ran towards him, as he chuckled, his smile only getting bigger. Her body crashed against his, as he lifted her up and embraced her tightly. His dad smiled with happiness from behind them before returning to flip the array of meats on the grill.

"When did you get here?" she asked, finally looking at him.

"Last night. This morning. Whichever way you look at it." he said.

"I had no idea you were coming! You're dad just invited me over here for the barbecue. He didn't tell me you were coming!" she said, her smile never leaving her face.

"Well, I'm here." he said, shrugging his shoulders before whistling allowed. "God damn, look at you, mama!"

He took her hand, spinning her around slowly, examining the transformation she had undergone. He hadn't seen her for almost 2 years, and since then, she had dropped a few pounds and added some muscle onto her lean frame.

"It's nothing." she said blushing, waving off his comments.

"Nothing my ass!" he retorted. "You look good!"

"Thanks John." she said softly. "I've... missed you." she managed to say, looking down at her feet.

"Hey." he urged, cupping her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. "I've missed you, too. I'm sorry I haven't been around."

"No, I completely understand. It's just not the same, ya know?" she asked, shuffling her feet.

"I know it isn't. But, I'm here for a couple weeks and we can chill while I'm here, aight?" he said, pulling her to him once more and hugging her closely. "Besides, I know Johnny Fab said he was wanting to watch little man while we hit the bar later, right Pops?"

"You know it! We have a guy's night with _Peter Pan_." John Sr. said, smiling brightly.

"Where is critter at, anyway?" John asked, looking around.

"He's at my mom's for the day. I have to pick him up in a few hours." Apryl replied.

"So, how'd the hearing go?" John asked, as he sat at the nearby table.

"Alright." Apryl replied, grabbing a carrot stick from the tray and nibbling on it. "He doesn't have to pay a lick of child support for Shawn, but then again that could be because he doesn't get visitations rights, either."

"Why's that?" John asked, confused.

"Because his name isn't listed on the birth certificate." she shrugged, sitting across from John and positioning her sunglasses over her eyes.

"And that would be why?" John asked again, even more confused.

"I've told you before, John. I knew he wasn't the father." she said, chuckling.

"Yeah, I know that, but I just assumed you put his name on there because you two were together." John answered.

"We might've been together but I couldn't and wouldn't do that to my son." she answered.

"So, are you legally a divorcee?" John asked, smirking.

"Why? You interested?" she asked, returning his look.

"I don't know." he said, shrugging as he grabbed a celery stick from the platter. "Maybe."

"You're not my type." she said nonchalantly.

"I'm not, huh?" he asked, standing above her.

"Nah." she said, grabbing his celery stick and taking a bite from it. "You know too much about me."

"Yeah, that's true." John said, sounding defeated. "If my memory serves me correctly...." he said trailing off.

"What?" she asked, arching her brow.

"I think this..." he said, grabbing her wrist and forcing her to stand and face him. He removed her glasses and threw them on the table as she watched his every movement, unsure of what he was doing. He grabbed her waist and smirked before running his fingertips under her shirt and across her back.

"...isn't that your tickle spot?" he whispered in her ear.

"John!" she shrieked, falling to her knees on the grass, as John followed, attacking her body with tickles.


	2. Leaving You to Think

"Uncle Johnny, guess what I got?" the boy chirped from the back.

"What's that?" John asked, turning around in his seat and looking at the blue-eyed tot.

"My grandma got me some action figures and a new wrestling ring. I got you and Randy Orton and.. and.. Jeff Hardy..." the boy said, trailing off, as he took the figures from his bag, displaying them proudly.

"You're grandma still spoils you, I see." John asked, chuckling.

"C." Apryl repeated before sighing to herself.

"What's that about?" John asked, turning to face her as she placed her sunglasses over her eyes, hiding them.

"Nothing." she replied, giving him a quick look before biting her bottom lip. "Just recalling how long it's been since you've called him that."

"Well, everyone else has nicknames for him, and I wanted to be different. Besides, he has a unique name, Ape." John said, reasoning.

"How so?" she asked, shooting him a look.

"Alright. Shawn, cute, adorable. I get the whole 'Shawn Michaels – he's my idol, favorite wrestler, blah blah' reference. 'William' I know was because of your grandfather. But, then you get his last names." John said, scrunching his brows. "Or is it another middle name? See, I get confused!"

"What's so confusing about it, John?" she asked, laughing. "_Shawn. William. C. Roy_. Plain and simple."

"Why'd you say my name, momma?" the boy spoke up.

"Nothing, sweetie. Just trying to explain something to your Uncle Johnny, that's all." she said, giving John a sideways smile.

"So where does the _C_ come from?" John asked, becoming intrigued.

"It's a special reason." she assured him.

"Is it an initial for a name or something?" John pressed on.

"Something like that, yeah." she agreed.

She found an empty parking spot and whipped her car into the space before cutting the engine and turning to smile at the young boy in the backseat. She watched as he unbuckled his belt and flung his door opened before rushing towards the front door, in search of John Sr.

"It's the initial of his real father's last name." she said quietly, before pushing the sunglasses from her eyes and slipping them back onto her head.

"Oh." John said, silently. "Why didn't you ever tell me that before now?"

"I don't know. I guess because the issue never came up. You've just always called him _C_. Had you asked, you know I would've told you." she answered, shrugging her shoulders.

"Yeah, I guess so." John replied, becoming deep in thought.

"What are you thinking about, tiger?" she asked, brushing her shoulder against his.

"Nothing, just..." he said, before shaking his head and looking at her, giving her a half-smile. "Nothing."

"I really did miss you, John." she said, releasing her keys from the ignition.

"I know you did, sweetness." he said, placing his finger under her chin, forcing their eyes to meet. "I missed you, too. I'm here now. Let's just enjoy the time I'm here, alright?"

"Alright." she whispered, shaking her head, before grabbing his hand and squeezing it lightly. "What time are we leaving tonight?"

"Well, that depends on you." he said, as she opened her car door and slamming it shut.

"Why's that?" she asked, sitting on the hood of the car.

"Well, if you want, we could leave a little early and grab some dinner before we meet everyone else at the bar." he offered as he stood, almost hovering over her small frame.

"Are you..." she asked, looking up, her sentence hanging in the air. "...asking me out?"

"Maybe." he said, looking towards the front door. "Do you want me to?"

"Depends." she said, shrugging her shoulders.

She felt her heart racing in her chest, and she almost begged it to calm down. She had known John for so long and she was aware that she had a cluster of feelings she had always felt over the years. Never had it gotten to the point where her mind was so clouded and her heart was racing so fast. The only thing she knew was she was falling harder for him.

Every time she had to say good-bye, it got harder for her to do so. It had resulted in arguments with her husband, which was much of the reason they had recently gotten divorced. In the end, it may have cost her a marriage, but in the end, she knew the feelings she had for John was far more intense than what she had felt for any other man.

"Depends on what… Hey, what are you thinking about?" he asked, noticing the far off look

"No..nothing." she stammered, managing a weak smile. She felt his finger slide into her belt loop and the heat radiating from his hand that touched her hip ever so slightly.

"Ape, you're thinking. You've got that dreamy, sort of gaze, like you're thinking of something. What's up?" he asked.

"Nothing, John." she answered, finally allowing her eyes to meet his. "I swear."

"Alright, now I know something's up. 'I swear.'" he said, chuckling and mocking her. "You'll talk to me when you're ready, right?"

"Yeah, I'm just... confused, that's all." she answered truthfully. "But, if you wanna leave early, we can."

"Alright. How 'bout we go inside and spend time with C and then we'll leave in an hour or so."

"You missed him, didn't you?" she asked, examining his features closely.

"Yeah, I did. It's weird, ya know? I mean, I know the kids my Godson, but there's this... this... bond between us." he said, spitting the words out. "I don't know. I can't explain it. It's weird."

"I know, John. He adores you." she said, smiling.

"You adore me, too." he teased, straightening his shirt collar and smirking.

"Oh, God!" she giggled, as she rolled her eyes and swatting his chest before pushing past him and walking towards the pathway. "Don't flatter yourself!"

She felt his hand grab hers, pulling her back towards him. Her body fell flush against his, as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She stared into his crystal, blue eyes, a line of confusion coming over her. John had always been exceptionally affectionate and protective towards her, but never to the extent where lines and boundaries were crossed.

It wasn't that she didn't crave the attention he was feeding to her now. She didn't mind her heart pounding practically out of her chest, or the sudden bolts of electricity shooting through her spine. She didn't mind the feeling of melting in his arms or her knees going weak.

She didn't like the confusion.

"John..." she whispered, as her fingers ran up his chiseled chest and locked around his neck.

"There's some things me and you..." he began, as his bottom lip ran across her jawbone. "...need to talk about."

"Like... what?" she asked, swallowing the lump that was forming in her throat.

"We'll talk about it over dinner, but, for right now, I need to leave you with something to think about." he said, smiling slowly.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, shaking her head slowly.

Before she could say anything more, his lips touched her softly. His hand ran the length of her sides, as his tongue traced her bottom lip gently. The tingling sensation ran down her body, even after he had pulled apart and walked inside the house, leaving her standing alone in the driveway, thinking about more than just his lips.


	3. Emergency

They drove in silence towards the inner-parts of Boston. She hadn't tried avoiding John; her mind was overwhelmed from their encounter just hours before and it left her mind spinning. He knew he had done what he had set out to do. He knew the chemistry was there; it always had been.

Their dinner was held with even more silence. They spoke on a rare occasion; usually commenting on the food or what time their friends would meet them later that evening, but it wasn't the conversation John had hoped for.

The past seven years, all he could think about was the night they had graduated together from college. They had been drinking heavily in celebration and after returning to his apartment, things had escalated to them having sex. But, he never regretted it. They had never been physical before that night, and they hadn't been since.

But, it still haunted John to no end.

He always had feelings for his childhood friend. They hadn't developed until high school, but he had noticed her. Even if he had never acted on them, after all the relationships, milestones and successes he saw in his professional career and personal life, ever since that warm, June night nearly seven years before, it only manifested deep within him, leaving him wanting more.

And John just didn't want the physical part of Apryl. He wanted more emotionally, as well.

Somewhere along the way, he had developed feelings for her that only seemed to grow every time he saw her. Two years had gone by and still, after locking eyes with her, he knew something was still there. Something that had left him with unanswered questioned that now, he needed answers to more than ever.

"You're awfully quiet." John said, finally breaking the silence.

"I recall you saying you were going to leave me with something to think about. So..." she said, finally looking over at him. "...I'm thinking."

"Oh." he replied, simply.

He found an empty parking spot and whipped the car into the lot before cutting the engine. He shoved the keys into his pockets as they both exited the vehicle and rounded near the back of the SUV. He glanced at her quickly, as the summer breeze caught her auburn tresses, blowing them into her face.

He stepped forward, brushing the hair from her face before caressing her cheek with the side of his fingers. She looked at him, and closed her eyes, leaning towards the soft touch. He took the chance and brought into his arms, hoping and praying he hadn't done the wrong thing.

"Please, say something." he pleaded, pulling away from her slowly.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked, stepping back even more. "You shocked the shit out of me!"

"I knew that was coming." he chuckled. "But, I couldn't take it anymore!"

"Take what, John?" she asked. "We've been friends practically our entire lives and never before have you said or done anything to let me know you were feeling that way!"

"I know Apryl and I'm sorry." he said softly, pushing his hands into his pockets. "Every time I would come in to visit, I see you and these feelings grow deeper and deeper. I thought I could just push them aside and I'd be fine, but then I see you again, and... and... I don't know. I'm 32 years old and I've held this in for too long. There not going to go away. They haven't yet and they have only gotten stronger."

"John, we can't do this. And, it's not because I don't want to because, baby, believe me..." she said, sighing, before grabbing his arms, forcing his hands to close around hers. "..I think I feel the same way, but..."

"But, what?" John asked, pushing away from her. "Apryl, what's stopping us? For Christ's sakes, you're single now and I'm not with anyone! It's the perfect time."

"No, John, it isn't." she answered simply.

"Is it my job? I'm taking a lighter work schedule after this movie. I'll be around more. I promise. You and C... you can come on the road with me sometimes. We could make it work." he reasoned.

"It's not that, either John." she said, sighing again. "It's Shawn."

"What about him? You know I love that boy like he was my own." John countered.

"I know you do, but there are just some things you don't know about me or about…." she sighed, before her voice elevated and she finished. "…and Shawn!"

"What about him?" he asked. "What about you?"

"I'm scared to tell you because, I might...." she said, fighting the words back, as she became chocked up on her words. "...I might...."

"You might, what?" John asked, cupping her face. "You might what? Tell me!"

"I might lose you! I can't stand to lose you, John!" she said, pulling away from his grasps and sniffling.

"Baby, that would never happen!" John said, turning her around. "Did you hear me? That would never happen."

"Don't say that." she warned.

"Is this what you were thinking about earlier?" he asked.

"Yeah." she whispered.

"Apryl, please, tell me." he pleaded again.

She paced the blacktop, fighting the urge to scream and cry out the truth. It had been seven years she had kept the secret to herself and she had been fine with that. But now, she was being slapped in the face with reality, almost forced to tell the one thing that she knew if she told him, she would lose John forever.

"Shawn...." she said, turning around, her eyes reddened by the tears. "...he's... he's...."

Before she could continue, she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. She was ready to silence the ringer when she glanced at the name on the screen. She flipped it open and accepted the call, realizing it was John Sr.

"Hey, Johnny, what's up?" she asked, clearing her throat.

"Apryl, its Shawn." John's voice broke through the phone in a panic. "He.. he..."

"John, what's wrong?" she asked, her entire body feeling limp.

"We were playing outside and he... he... feel on the swing set." John said, his voice breaking through the tears. "There was so much blood and... and we called 911. I'm so sorry, Apryl!"

"Oh God!" Apryl screamed, grabbing John's arm. "Is he at the hospital?"

"The ambulance just left. I'm following them right now. They mentioned something about a blood transfusion or something. I'm so sorry!" he repeated.

"We'll meet you there." she said, the tears falling from her eyes, as she rushed to the passenger seat, John following quickly behind her.

"What's wrong?" John asked, as he fired the engine.

"Shawn fell from the play yard and your dad had to call 911!" Apryl explained, as she stared out the window before collecting her head into her hands. "Oh, God, my baby, John! That's my baby!"

"I know, sweetheart. It's alright." John soothed, as he rubbed her leg gently and raced through traffic. "It's alright."


	4. Yours

"Where is he?" Apryl screamed, as she entered the waiting room.

"I don't know. They won't tell me anything because I'm not family." John Sr. explained.

Apryl rushed towards the nurses' station, John following quickly behind her. She tapped impatiently on the desk until the nurse turned around, giving her an annoyed look.

"My son.. he was brought in here by ambulance! He fell from his swing set." Apryl said in a rush.

"Name?" the nurse asked.

"Shawn William C. Roy." she spat out, turning towards John.

"Room 12. Last room on your right." the nurse replied, closing the clipboard.

As she entered, she saw the little boy attached to IV's and machines. She heard the steady beep coming from the heart monitor and as she took it all in, she felt the wind knocked out of her. She turned around briefly, crashing into John's chest, who wrapped her into his arms. Her shoulders shook as the sobs coursed through her body.

"Shawn, baby." she whispered, finally making her way over to his bed.

She reached out to touch his head, but jerked back after noticing the huge amounts of gauze that was wrapped around it. She released another sob before covering her mouth. John made his way behind her, squeezing her shoulders gently, the tears lining his own eyes.

"Ma'am?" came a voice from the door, as they both turned to look. "Are you the mother?"

"Yes." Apryl said, standing. "What's wrong with him?"

"Well, right now, he's simply unconscious. He had a blood transfusion from the large amount of blood he lost when he hit his head on the concrete structures on the play yard." the doctor explained.

"But, he'll be okay, right?" John asked quickly.

"We expect him to make a full recovery. He may have a concussion when he wakes up, which is why we advise that we keep him overnight so we can monitor him. He is still unconscious, but he's stable and his vital signs are normal." he replied, as he made his way to the side of the bed, checking the IV tubes.

"Oh thank God!" John exclaimed, breathing in deeply, as he hugged Apryl close.

"So, he's gonna be alright?" Apryl asked, through tears.

"Yeah, as soon as he wakes up, we'll see how he's feeling. We've got him on a pain reliever right now, so that could be why he hasn't woken up, but by morning, I'm sure he'll be fine. We had the available blood stored here at the hospital. That's really what saved this young man's life." the doctor said, smiling.

"John, did you hear that?" Apryl asked, hugging him tightly.

"I know, baby. He's gonna be alright. I told you." he said, kissing her forehead. "Hey, I'm gonna go check on my dad. I'll be right back, alright?"

"Alright." she said.

John made his way down the hallway and stopped at the nurses' station. The nurse looked at him and groaned inwardly before looking up from the computer.

"Yes?" she sighed.

"Where can I go to donate blood?" John asked.

"It's on the other side of the elevator to the right." she answered before returning to her computer.

"Thanks you." he said, as he made his way into the waiting room.

"Is he alright?" his dad asked, rushing over to his son.

"Yeah, dad, he's alright. Why don't you go sit with Apryl for a few. I've gotta go do something real quick." John said, patting his shoulder.

"She isn't mad at me?" he asked, looking at the younger Cena.

"Dad. You know her better than that. It was an accident. Apryl doesn't blame anyone. C is pretty active." John said, hugging his father.

"I know, I just felt so bad. I didn't know what to do. It's been years since you boys were little and even then, I don't think you guys had much other than broken bones." he replied, laughing lightly.

"I know dad. Go see her. I'll be back in a few." he assured him.

John made his way through the double doors and smiled at the technician sitting behind the desk. He picked up a form from the desk and began filling it out. He couldn't help but think what would have happened had the blood not been available at the hospital when Shawn came in.

John only heard the doctor's words of the blood saving his life, and it was enough for John too decided to donate. He didn't care how much he hated needles; he was going through with it.

"Mr. Cena?" the technician called.

"Yeah." John asked, looking up from his papers.

"Are you donating?" he asked.

"Yeah, I am." John replied, as he sighed his name and handed the papers to the man.

"After I take your blood, would you sign this for my son? He's a big fan!" the man asked, smiling.

"Sure, no problem, but I better do it before hand. You might have to help this big guy off the floor. I don't like needles." he confessed as he chuckled.

John accepted the paper and signed his autograph before handing it back to man and taking a seat in the chair provided. After the technician put gloves on, he placed a band at the top of John's arm, readying his vein.

The needle went in, with John's fist clenching the chair, his knuckles matching the white leather of the seat. He closed his eyes and slowly relaxed his body, reminding himself to breath. The technician chuckled to himself, before pulling the needle out and slapping a gauze pad on John's arm.

"You're all done, sir." the man said, handing John a cup of orange juice. "Drink this so you don't get queasy."

John sipped from the cup as he stood up. He felt the room spinning slowly before taking another sip from the plastic cup. After finishing the contents, he smiled and waved at the man before making his way back down the hallway towards Shawn's room.

"John, where were you?" Apryl asked. "What's wrong with your arm?"

"Oh, this?" he asked, flashing the band-aid. "I gave blood." he responded proudly.

Apryl snickered before arching her brow. She knew John was not the friendliest towards needles and having random drug screenings with the WWE, it made him hate them that much more.

"You? Gave blood?" she asked. "You're afraid of needles!"

"I know, but if I can save another kids life like C's, it's worth it." he said, smiling softly.

"John..." Apryl whispered before embracing him.

"It's nothing, honey." he said, pulling back, and wiping the tears that formed in her eyes.

"Yeah, it is." she said, as she paced the floor. "John, there's something I have to tell you."

"Is C okay?" John asked, peering into the room.

"No, no. He's alright. Still asleep, but alright." she answered, grabbing his hand. "Promise me you won't hate me."

"Sweetie, that's not possible. What's wrong?" John asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Shawn..." she stopped, before meeting his eyes.

"What about him, Ape?" John asked, shaking his head.

"He's your son, John." she whispered.


	5. Bitter Pill to Swallow

"How's he…" John Sr. began, before realizing he had clearly interrupted a conversation between the two. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Um, dad, can you give us a minute?" John asked, a look of shock and amazement written across his features.

"Um, yeah, sure, son." he replied, giving a confused look before turning around and entering the hospital room.

"Are you sure…" John started after his father had shut the door behind him. Before he could finish his question however, she closed her eyes, placing her hand in the air, stopping him in mid-question.

"What? Am I sure he's yours?" she asked, finishing the question for him.

"Well, yeah. I'm not insinuating anything here, but…." John said, trailing off.

"No, I'm positive he's yours. Remember that night of our graduation?" she asked, shaking her head with attitude.

"Yeah. Vaguely, but yeah, I remember." he replied, knowing full well he remembered the memory a little too well and more than he was letting on now.

"Well, there you go!" she said, placing her hands on her hips.

"And, just like that?" he said, snapping his fingers.

"Yeah, John." she snapped back. "Just like that! It only takes once, genius! You know that!"

"I know this, but there wasn't anyone else that you slept with before that or right after?" he asked, getting the facts straightened in order for him to no jump to conclusions.

"No, if you must know…" she said, trailing off, realizing she was about to admit another truth she hadn't told no one, until now. "…you were my… first and my last for about year after that night."

John felt his breath catching in his throat and stared at her, wide-eyed. He thought for sure she had slept with her old high school boyfriend. Although she had never told him so, he had always assumed it to be truth, as the pair was physical at parties, dances or any other occasions where liquor and booze were involved. He calmed his nerves for a second, allowing the information to process before continuing forward.

"I had no idea." he said in disbelief, allowing the only thought that had entered his head to exit his mouth.

"Well, now you do. You left to pursue your wrestling career a few months later. When you left, I wasn't even showing yet and you didn't even suspect that I was pregnant until I called you up after you left to tell you. I knew we would always be friend so…." she explained, trailing off for a minute before continuing. "Besides, it was a one night stand and nothing became of it except that… we… slept together." she stated bluntly.

"Yea." he said, slightly dazed. "One…. night… stand…."

She sighed, realizing he was still allowing the information to process. She wasn't sure what was going through his head, as John had never been that silent about anything before, or at least as long as she had known him, and that even seemed like forever. Sometimes, she swore she knew him like the back of her hand; sometimes, even better than she knew her own self.

"Say something please." Apryl begged, the silence almost too much for her to handle.

"Um, forgive me for a minute if I don't say something, but I was just told that I have a s-… a s-…" he stammered, trying to get the words to escape his mouth.

"A son?" she whispered, finishing his sentence for him. "I know you may be mad and angry with me, and I completely understand. But, please…."

"Please what, Apryl?" he asked, as his hand ran through his short, brown hair. "Please let you explain? Please forgive you?"

"No, I stand behind my decision, although I do admit it was rather selfish of me to keep this from you." she replied, her voice rising slightly. "I didn't want to confuse Shawn any more than what he already is, John. He loves you and admires you. How do you think he would look at you if I told him you were his father, knowing we aren't together?"

John looked at her for a moment, a blank express forming across his face. He closed his eyes, exhaling a deep sigh and smirking. He shook his head slightly before opening his eyes slowly, allowing his gaze to fall over the trembling woman before him.

"I have known you for how many years?" he began, but not allowing her to answer, as he continued. "And, this whole time you have been able to look at me-" he stopped, letting the sentence hang in the hair before rephrasing himself. "No, you have been able to look at that little boy and not inform him of who I was? How is this fair to him? How is this fair to me?"

"It's not, John. I never said it was fair and I never will say that. I am sorry, not only to my son, but to you. I do stand behind what I did, but it doesn't me it was right. I have never been one to make the most popular decisions, but I've always had conviction in what I've done."

"Well, at least you have your convictions, right?" he asked, rather haughtily. "What about the loyalties you have to that little boy? What about the loyalties and trust you have with me?"

She stopped, seeming to ponder on the words he just said, as if they coursed through her brain before cutting her heart like a knife. She knew the decision she had made may have been questionable. She knew it was probably the wrong decision on many levels and many people who chastise her for what she had done. It definitely wasn't fair to John and their son, but it wasn't fair to their family's either.

"It might not have been the right decision. I admit that, but I did what I had to do. I knew you were going to be in his life and I knew Shawn would have a relationship, a good, solid relationship with you no matter what. Maybe I didn't think of all the consequences and the effects to what I did, but the point is I made the decision." she said, shaking her head before pushing a strand of hair from her face and tucking it neatly behind her ear.

"So, did you ever plan on telling either one of us?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest and shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"I told you, didn't I?" she snapped, realizing her tone was a little more threatening than she meant. She stopped and drew a deep breath in, calming her nerves and thinking briefly and carefully about her next words.

"Yes, I did plan on telling you. When he had this accident tonight, it put a lot of things in perspective and ate at me even more. You mentioned the other day that you felt a bond between the two of you. That pulled at me worse than anything. I had thought of telling you a long time before now, I just didn't know how to."

A million different thoughts raced through his head and he couldn't help but feel the hurt that rose within him from the secret that had been hidden from him for so long. A secret by the one person he never thought would keep anything in the world from him. They had been open and honest about everything with each other from the very beginning; or so he thought. At least he knew he had, but with the new revealing of Shawn being his son made him wonder how much more she was hiding, if anything and rather she had been truthful with him the entire time.

John shook his head as he peered through the small, glass window of the hospital door where his son slept comfortably.

His son.

"The 'C'- The initial in his last name…" John said, never taking his eyes from the sleeping form that lie just inside the room. "…it stands for 'Cena', doesn't it?"

She inhaled deeply, her gaze following John's, as they both feel silent watching Shawn. John Sr. had positioned himself at bedside, holding the child's hand and talking to him, as if he were telling a story. It was a heartwarming sight and for anyone passing by, they would have thought it was the child's grandfather comforting his grandson back to health.

Although, in this case, the scenario may have been truth, but the elder Cena had no idea of the fact.

"Yeah, John…" Apryl answered, her eyes meeting his. "…that's what it stands for."

"Apryl, my God…" he said, clasping his hands at the nape of his neck and squeezing in frustration and anger. "…why on Earth didn't you tell me? Why couldn't you have been truthful?"

"John, the only thing I can say at this point is I'm sorry. I know it doesn't make it better…."

"No, you're damn right it doesn't. And do you know what? I have to do now?" he asked, stepping forwards as his eyes glared down at hers, as if waiting for an answer that he wasn't about to let her give. "I have to tell my father, my mother and the rest of my family that this child is my son and they have missed out on this for the past 6 years! I don't think you thought of it fully when you made this conviction that you stand behind, but I really hope you stand behind it fully because it effected and undoubtedly hurt a lot of innocent people! Did you not think I would step up, be a man and take care of my responsibility?"

"That's not it at all!" she started defensively, feeling her own voice beginning to raise.

"Because, you should know me better than that, Apryl! You know I would have stepped up, but you didn't even give me that damn chance to prove myself! You made the decision for me to be a dead-beat father!" he yelled, turning around and placing his hand on the doorknob.

He stopped short before opening the door and released a laugh filled with sarcasm. He shook his head before peering over his shoulder, giving her once last look.

"You know, I think that's what hurts me most of all! Thank you for making that decision for me!" he said, before pushing the door open and entering, leaving her alone, with her thoughts in the empty hallway.

She folded her arms across her chest, as the loneliness began to sink in. She felt the warm tears stinging her eyes as she turned to look through the window at her son, still sleeping peacefully. John had made his way to his father's side, and now the two were deep in conversation, unquestionably talking about the argument that had just taken place, and the truth John was just told.

She felt the tears falling down her cheeks, and for the first time, she wasn't sure of where to turn. She had always went to John when she was feeling down, needed to talk or when anything went wrong. Now, a problem persisted and this time, she couldn't turn to John. She realized she had hurt the one person who had always been there for her, no questions asked. She had hurt the one person who she felt was her heart and soul.

And now, she realized she had not only hurt the man she was so deeply in love with; but the little boy who she had devoted her life to and promised to never steer wrong.

For the first time in her life, she realized she had made the wrong decision and living with it was a bitter pill she would have to swallow.


	6. From the Mouth of Babes

John entered the room and sighed, listening to his father tell the story of baseball to the sleeping boy. It pulled at John's heart listening to the same story his dad had told him so many times when he was a child. His father wasn't the kind to tell bedtime stories to his kids; but with a family of five boys, it was rather easy for him to talk about baseball, however. And, every last one of the Cena boys had been on the baseball team growing up.

It only made John think more of what he had been missing out on for the past 6 1/2 years that he hadn't known Shawn was his child. It angered him knowing Apryl had kept a secret from him. But what really infuriated him to no end was the fact it had to deal with himself, the child she so dearly loved and the giant effect it would have on everyone around them.

He even tried to momentarily reason as to why she would hold something back as major as that, but he still came up with a blank every time. He hoped Shawn would be more accepting to the fact that his mother was so secretive of the biological father. But even more so, he hoped Shawn would be accepting toward him as his father. He hoped and prayed he wasn't robbed of that chance, especially seeing as he had no way of knowing himself and it honestly wasn't his fault.

"What's on your mind son?" his father asked, as John glanced up from the spot he was looking at on the tiled floor to meet his father's eyes.

"Well, pops…" he began, as he scratched the back of his newly, shaved head. He made his way over to his father's side and grasped Shawn's hand before continuing. "…I have something to tell you and I guess this is as good a time as any."

"Is everything alright with Shawn?" his father asked, becoming increasingly alarmed.

"Oh, yeah! Apryl still hasn't gotten any further updates on him, so he's stable and he's still gonna make a full recovery." John said, not meaning to startle his father. "But, something has come up and honestly, dad, I don't know how to tell you."

"Is there something wrong? Were you and Apryl fighting in the hallway?" his father asked, becoming inpatient.

"Well, yeah, kinda." John said, easily. "That's sort of what it has to do with."

"Well, spit it out!" his father encouraged. "It can't be that bad, right?"

"Well, we were talking about Shawn's father out in the hallway." John started easily. He paid careful attention to his father's reaction, but after seeing a blank expression, he was forced to continue. "And, she finally told me who it was."

"And, who is it, son? Is it someone we know?" he asked, intrigued to know where the conversation was going.

"Oh, you could say that!" John added, sarcastically before exhaling, trying to find the courage to spit the rest of it out.

"Um, okay? Who is it?" John Sr. asked, signaling with his hand to speed it up and come out with it.

"I…. am." John said softly and slowly.

There was silence in the room as John continued to look at Shawn resting peacefully. His father on the other hand looked as if he had been hit with an 18-wheeler, as he felt his own breath becoming lost in his throat. He sat down in the nearby chair, his elbow resting on the arms of the chair and his hands supporting his chin as he stared at the floor, clearly lost in thought.

John took the moment of silence himself; hoping that by speaking it aloud, the new information would sink in and it wouldn't be such a shock for him. He squeezed the child's hand, as he looked at his innocent face; the way his eyes were shaped like almonds, and remembering the color being crystal blue, much like his own. His lips, how they were pressed together so lightly and the bottom lip slightly fuller than the bottom; much like his mother's. The square-like feature of his chin that resemble that of John's. His cheek bones and how defined his bone structure was, even at the tender age of 6. It reminded John of his baby pictures and how his had the same shape.

"Are you telling me…" his father asked, finally breaking the silence, but his sentence trailing off and let to hang in thin air.

"I know, dad it's a little shocking and…" John said as he collected his thoughts, his eyes never leaving Shawn's. "….I think I'm still trying to take it all in. I… just… don't… believe it, I guess."

"I just don't get why she covered this up for so many years!" John Sr. exclaimed, as if he were searching in front of him for an answer that wasn't available to him.

"I'm not sure either, dad." John said, turning around to face his father. "We got into an argument about this in the hallway because I'm just…. God!"

"I can't even imagine what you're feeling, John." His dad said easily. "There has to be some sort of reason as to why she did this. I'm sure of it! I mean, it's Apryl we're talking about and you know she would never do anything to intentionally hurt you or that baby."

"I know, dad, but I missed the past 6 years off his life! I was even given the opportunity to decide if I wanted to be a dead-beat dad! She made the decision for me!" John said, becoming slightly irritated.

"Son, I understand that completely and no, I don't know what you are going through…" he said, trying to calm his son. "…but I can tell you that you can either stay mad about this and let it consume you. Or, you can accept what she did, get her side of the story, try to understand it and forgive her for it. Either way, you both have a son that needs you and deserves to know the truth about who you really are, regardless of how you two feel about one another now that the truth is out."

"The thought never crossed my mind of not being there for him! I mean, hell, dad, I've been there thus far and honestly, I'm probably the closest thing that little boy has to a father! And, as far as Apryl is concerned; Dad, I know you're right, but right now, it's just…." " John said trailing off again as he sighed a deep, long breath before sitting in the nearby chair.

"Well, maybe you just need a little bit of space, John." his father reasoned, as he walked around to the other side of the bed beside Shawn and began stroking the little boys hair. "And, then again, maybe this is what it will take to get you two together. Finally."

"Dad, please don't start with that, now! Should I even been worrying about that right now?" John asked, becoming irritated once more.

"Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it. I mean, some people, it would bring them closer together. You gotta ask yourself John, if you're willing to risk everything you two have and throwing this all away when you know just as well as I do, this could be what your heart most desires." John Sr. said, winking at his son before returning his attention back to his grandson.

"Lemme ask you this, dad. Do you think I'll make a great father to Shawn?" John asked.

John Sr. didn't get the chance to answer. They both turned their attention to Apryl, who had entered during John's previous question to his father. She smiled shyly at the men and looked downward, clearly feeling out of place in the situation. John had noticed her eyes were bloodshot and swollen and knew she had been crying. The thought of her crying, and him being the reason behind that upset him a little, but before he could say anything one way or another to her, they were all startled by the sound of the raspy, little voice that spoke from the bed.

They weren't startled that he had awakened and had finally spoke. That was nothing new. He had done that just an hour before hand when the doctors and nurses were in the room giving him an examination.

They were all taken aback and startled by the question he had asked.

"Mommy, is Uncle Johnny my daddy?"


	7. Change

She wasn't sure what to say to her own son. She wasn't even sure how to address John or his father, for that matter. She felt unbelievably awkward standing in the room with the other three individuals, and one of them was her son.

Her son, who now looked at her with intent and wonder. No doubt about it, he had overheard enough of the conversation between John and his father to ask the question she hoped she never would have to answer. And, now, he sat just 10 feet way, staring up at her with his big, blue eyes waiting for the answer to his question.

She looked at John and the moment their eyes locked, his face fell and his gaze wondered to the floor. She knew he was angry with her, and she understood. She wasn't sure what his father's reaction was, which made her even more uncomfortable standing in the room.

"Mommy?" Shawn whispered in his raspy voice.

"I think I'm gonna get some coffee downstairs. Does anyone want anything?" John Sr. offered.

"No, dad. I'm fine." John answered, his gaze never leaving the floor.

"Thanks anyway." Apryl replied softly, warranting herself to no look at the elder Cena.

As he walked towards the door, he reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it light. She looked up at him, feeling a glimmer of hope in the mess she had created. He offered a small smile and placed a little kiss on her cheek before exiting the room, leaving her alone with John, their son and what undoubtedly be endless questions.

"How are you feeling, baby?" she asked, making her way to the side of the bed opposite of John.

"My head hurts a little and I think I'm a little dizzy." the child replied, giving off a large yawn.

"Why don't you lie down and get some more rest. The doctor said you had to stay here overnight so…." Apryl began, before Shawn sprung forward in the bed, grabbing her hand and giving her a look of complete fear.

"Please, Mommy! I won't goof around on the swing set anymore, I promise!" he cried. "Take me home with you!"

"C, it's alright buddy. Mommy and Dadd…." John started before cutting himself off, his eyes finally locking with Apryl's.

"So, it is true?" Shawn asked, a small smile spreading across his face as he beamed at John. "You are my daddy?"

"I'm going to let your mother explain that one, buddy." John replied, smirking in her direction.

Apryl glared at John, realizing he had put her on the spot. She wasn't even prepared to have this talk with her son. Quite frankly, she had convinced herself she wouldn't have this talk with him for many, many years. Now, she had to muster up the strength and find the right words for not only her son, but her son's father, as well.

Her focus drew at her hands, which was wringing the hospital blanket tightly in her fists. She was not prepared in any way, shape or form to explain the situation to her 6 year-old, but somehow she had to try. She knew John was waiting on her reply, too. She could almost feel his eagerness, waiting for her to say something.

"I guess I can't explain it or tell you any simpler than..." she began, before trailing off, her words becoming lost in her throat along with the ball that had formed when she had first entered the room. "…yes, John is your daddy."

She braced herself for the worse, not knowing really what her son's reaction would be to the shocking news. She watched his features carefully, trying to find some hint, a clue as to what he was feeling. But, when he looked up at his mother and simply lay back on the bed, shutting his eyes, she was completely lost. She wasn't prepared for that reaction, but realizing he had went through a traumatizing accident, plus the startling news, she figured he needed his rest. As she carefully pulled to covers around his small chest, her eyes followed John's movements intently.

John expelled a long, deep sigh as he turned around and walked aimlessly towards the windows. He tore open the curtain and peered outside into the night, not sure himself what he was looking for. He had heard her say it once before, merely moments ago, but he still wasn't prepared to hear it again.

It stunned him to know he was just finding out after 7 years. And, of all people who held such a deep, dark secret; it was the person he loved and cared about the most in the world. He wasn't sure what Shawn's reaction would be, and that scared him a little. He had seen his face lit up only minutes before when asking if he was his father.

In many ways, things really didn't have to change. He could provide for Shawn; that he had no doubt or concern about. And, he had been the most consecutive male figure in the child's life. Even her ex-husband had been a little shady towards Shawn the entire time they were together. But, he knew he had stayed the same; he was consistent where Shawn was concerned. He had always loved the boy as if he were his own; sometimes they would venture out together just to see what they could get into. And, John loved spending time with him, rather they went to the zoo or just riding around in his car. Shawn enjoyed it, too.

For a minute, he realized he was smacked in the face with reality. John had been the positive male force in his life; he knew he had a bond with him, and while it may have been unexplainable before, it was very apparent now. He loved and adored Shawn dearly. He felt skeptical and timid after hearing he was a father; he wasn't sure that he could live up to being the dad Shawn needed and so desperately yearned for. But, after thinking and realizing he had been there since he was born and he loved and adored the child to no end, John knew he was already a father to Shawn.

"John…" Apryl called softly before placing a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump slightly before he turned around to face her.

"What?" he asked, evenly, wishing she hadn't touched him as the anger began to subside the minute he felt the warmth of her touch.

"Please, don't be mad at me." she pleaded, releasing the grip she had on his shoulder and stepping back slowly.

"God, Apryl…" he whispered, as he placed his hands behind his neck and squeezed, trying to relieve some of the tension that was there.

"John…." she spoke softly again.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" he whispered, his eyes finally meeting hers.

"John, we've had an awesome friendship and we've been inseparable for how many years?" she asked while relieving a sigh before continuing. "I did not want to squash the dreams you had of being a professional wrestler. I did not want you to wake up on morning regretting that you didn't try because I held you back. I couldn't have you look at him down the road and regret not knowing if you would have made it and became successful as a wrestler all because we made a mistake. I didn't want you to grow to resent either one of us."

Her words echoed through his head, stinging him deeply. He lowered his head for a moment before returning his focus back to hers, a smirk plastered across his face. He had mixed emotions flowing through him, shadowed by the hurtful words she had just spoke. Although, he wasn't sure what got at him more; two thoughts keep swirling around in his head.

The thought of her actually thinking he could grow to regret and resent her and Shawn. That was mind-blowing to him, especially considering the relationship and closeness they had for so many years. Even more so, he knew that she was aware of the way he felt for Shawn.

But, for some reason, his second thought bothered him a little more; he felt foolish after hearing her say that that night was a mistake and it only led him to believe that she hadn't felt the same way as he did.

He wasn't sure what was to become of the situation. It was all a little overwhelming for him from finding out he was the father of Shawn to Apryl hiding the truth for so many years; in some way, to respect his feelings, wants and desires. He wasn't sure rather he was flattered by that or if it made him even angrier.

He was able to finally look at her as he exhaled another long sigh. The tears burned her eyes, threatening to fall, but she fought them off, wanting to hear him say something. _Anything_.

"John…" she said softly, before he raised his hand, stopping her, letting his name linger in the air.

"Apryl, I don't even know what to say right now, to be honest. I never…" he said, shaking his head. "…._never_ would have expected you to do something like this and frankly, this blows my mind. I'll be there for Shawn. Hell, I _have_ been there for him. But, I don't know…"

"What do you mean you don't know?" she asked, cutting him off. "You don't know what? I know you're angry, but are you trying to tell me this changes things between you and me?"

John bit his lip as a lump formed in the back of his throat. He didn't want anything to change between them, especially since it seemed like something was finally starting up between them. He was mentally and emotionally drained from everything that had happened and on top of that, he was confused.

"I don't know." he spoke softly.

"Look, I know what I did was wrong. Yeah, I should have told you, but part of me stands behind my decision. I didn't want to take that dream from you and wonder if you would regret it and end up resenting your son." she repeated.

"Then you don't know me at all, Ape." he spoke evenly. "God damn, you of all people should know me! Does that even sound like something I am capable of? Especially when it pertains to you!"

"Yeah, I know you, John. You would have canceled your trip to California and stayed back home to help me raise him. You wouldn't have pursued that dream and you wouldn't be where you are today!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, you can say that again!" he muttered, sarcastically. "Ape, I don't want anything to change, but at the same time, my life was turned upside down tonight. I have a son! That changes things!"

"No more than it has before. You said you yourself, John. You have been there for him and I dare say that you've been the closest thing to a father he's ever had. I may have made a shitty mistake and a bad call, but if I knew it would change something between you and me, do you think I would have done it? I would have told you right on the spot the moment I found out!"

"Apryl, I just don't think I can deal with this right now." he uttered, needing fresh air more than ever.

"So, you're going to leave?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest.

"I'm going to stay in this hospital with my son. I would have done that anyway, even if you wouldn't have said anything, but I just…" he stopped himself short before continuing his sentence.

"You just what?" she asked, blinking back the tears that was still threatening to fall.

"I just don't want to see you right now." he replied softly as he shook his head slowly before walking past her and leaving the room.


	8. Look Me In the Eyes

*1 Week Later*

It had been the worst thing she had ever heard uttered by her best friend and the words continued to echo through her head as if it had just happened all over again. She had talked to John since he left the hospital room, but he had kept his word and stayed overnight. However, he made sure he avoided her at all costs, only talking to her when it pertained to Shawn and exchanging any news they had heard from the doctors.

She was never one to press an issue, but she wanted to talk to John to try and clear the air once more. Things had been left hanging in thin air and nothing was resolved. She couldn't and would not accept the fact that things would now change between them, even though they hadn't spoken to one another in a week. It was a bitter fact she couldn't live with.

And, she realized as time passed, she couldn't life without John in her life.

"Momma, can I call daddy? He's supposed to come get me and take me to the zoo!" Shawn said, his voice raising with excitement.

"Yeah, just give me a second, buddy. I've gotta finish these dishes." she answered solemnly, as she placed her hands back into the hot, soapy water, her mind trailing off in other places besides the dishes.

"Momma!" Shawn whined, pulling on her shirt.

"What, baby?" she sighed, looking down at the small boy.

"I want to call my daddy!" he declared impatiently.

"And, what did I tell you, Shawn William?" she asked, the slightest bit of irritation ringing through.

"Alright, momma." he scoffed, his shoulders sagging as he slumped in the nearby kitchen chair.

She finished the last of pots and drained the water before wiping her hands on a dishtowel. She turned around, seeing Shawn still sitting in the chair looking disappointed. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she knelt down to get his attention.

"You wanna make that phone call now?" she asked cheerfully.

"Yeah!" the boy squealed, running into the hallway and retrieving the cordless phone.

"Do you know the number?" he asked, handing the phone over to his mother.

"Yes, Einstein, I do!" she said, smiling down at him as she dialed the number and listened, waiting for someone to answer.

"Hello?' came a familiar voice on the other end.

"John, it's… it's Apryl." she said, her voice shaking.

"I know who it is." he replied with the slightest bit of attitude. "What's up?"

"Um, well Shawn insisted on calling you so, I'm gonna put him on the line." she answered, handing the phone over to him.

"Daddy, are we still going to the zoo?" Shawn asked hopefully.

She watched her son closely and couldn't help but smile. He had taken to John instantly after finding out he was his father and insisted on calling him 'daddy' from that moment on. He hadn't been mad at her in the least, or if he was, he hadn't shown it to her that she had noticed. The relationship between John and his son had already been developed from the moment he was born, but when she saw the two of them together, there was a different gleam in John's eye she hadn't noticed before. And, the smile never left his face when Shawn was around.

"Alright, daddy. I'll get ready and you'll be here in a second, right?" Shawn asked, the excitement building up inside of him. "Alright, I'll let mommy know. Bye!"

"Let mommy know what?" she asked, arching her brow.

"Daddy said he's be here in a few minutes and to pack my overnight bag 'cuz I get to spend the night at Pappy's house!" he screamed as he began dancing around the living room.

"Alright, Shawn, settle down." his mother warned. "Go grab a couple toys to take with you for tonight and I'll grab your clothes."

The two raced off to his bedroom in search of clothes, toys and the overnight bag. After the initial fear of Shawn being in the hospital, John Sr. had been ecstatic and wanted his grandson with him at all times. The watched _Peter Pan _every time they were together and he always told him the world-famous Cena baseball story when he stayed overnight. It was something Shawn had begun to do at night when he was with Apryl. She laughed every time, as the child often mixed his words and inserted other words where they didn't belong.

"C?" a voice bellowed from the hallway.

She felt her heart begin to race, knowing John had arrived. She hadn't even gave herself time to look into the mirror before he came, but it was too late now as she quickened her pace and walked into the living room, the overnight bag hanging from her shoulder.

"He's grabbing some toys for him and Pappy." Apryl replied softly as John wheeled around to face her.

He nodded his head slowly, his eyes traveling around the living room, staring at random objects.

"How is your dad?" she asked, trying to break the ice and at least have somewhat of a conversation with him.

John merely shook his head, signaling what she assumed as everything was fine. She had never seen John react this way, especially towards her; and, it was the same treatment whenever they were forced to be within the same vicinity of each other.

"So, y'all are going to the zoo?" she asked, attempting to make conversation once more.

John shook his head again, his eyes still refusing to meet hers, let alone even look in her direction, much less _at_ her. Instead, he pretended to be fascinated by the pictures that were positioned atop the television stand, his eyes traveling from one from to the next.

"Oh, geez! Whatever!" Apryl said, throwing her hands in the air out of frustration as she walked towards the kitchen. "Grow up, John!"

"What did I do?" he asked innocently as he followed close behind her.

"How long are we going to go on like this?" she asked, turning around to face him. "Because, if this is how it's going to be…."

"If this is how it's going to be, what?" he asked, mocking her but wanting to know where she was going with her sentence.

"John, I can't do this anymore! When have we _ever_ acted like this?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips. "You know, I feel like every time I see you, you treat me this way like you're trying to get back at me. I've told you I was wrong, and I even apologized. What more do you want from me because other than that, I can't make it better, John! I've tried and I've done everything humanly possible!"

"Apryl, I don't want anything from you. That's not even relevant." he stated, becoming flustered.

"Then tell me, John, for arguments sake, what is relevant?" she asked, begging to know the answer.

"What's relevant is you really hurt me; and that's something you have never done!" he said, running his hand throw his short hair. "What's relevant is I felt like we were actually getting somewhere. You and me! We…" he said, smiling but clearly angry and frustrated. "…_we_ were actually getting somewhere! I don't know where it was going, but for the first time ever, I felt I could be honest with you about how I felt about you! I felt like I didn't have to hide that shit any longer because I thought you felt the same way!"

"Wow! John, slow down!" she snickered, placing her hands in front of him, her palms resting slightly on his chest.

"I'm sorry, it's just…" he stopped, shaking his head.

"I fucked up." she finished for him, almost in a whisper.

"Yeah, you did." he agreed, shaking his head again. "I mean, I have never steered you wrong. Hell, you have never steered me wrong! We have always been truthful and open with each other about everything, until now and I just feel like it changed everything."

"What did it change, John?" she asked, becoming slightly confused. "Because, I'll tell you one thing that I know has changed. Have you noticed the way you look at Shawn now? You have that little sparkle in your eyes that I've never seen before. You are always smiling when he's in the room and you're just… so damn… happy!"

"Yeah." he said, slowly, realizing she hit the nail on the head about something. "I never thought I could love someone so much. I mean, I always loved him and nothing really changed for me there, but when you told me, a part of me jumped for joy and I _was_ happy!"

"So, what changed, John?" she asked, wanting desperately to know the answer, even if she didn't like the answer she would receive.

"I don't know that I can trust you, Apryl. You lied to me. For 7 years!" John explained. "That's huge, and then to find out what you lied about! That's… even more huge!"

Apryl stared at him, stunned, not believing what he was saying. She knew she deserved everything that she had coming to her, and if John wanted to be angry with her, that was fine. But, she was still adamant that she would not live without him in her life.

"I used to look at you and know that you would never lie to me and I could trust you more than anyone else on this Earth. You were my best friend and now, it's like… we're strangers. I feel like I don't even know you anymore." He finished, exhausting a deep breath, as if his speech had drained every ounce of his energy.

She shook her head slowly, knowing there was a bit of truth to what he said. It was hard to hear and it hurt her deeply, but it was something she had to hear and accept before she could move on. At least she knew why John was so dead-set on not speaking with her.

"Yeah, well John, I'm not the only one who lied, now am I?" she asked, a single tear rolling down her cheek, as the anger boiled inside her. John looked up at her and noticed she was crying. The image tore him to shreds and he wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her tight and to never make her cry again.

"What do you mean?" he asked, shaking his head and scrunching his brows.

"You felt like you didn't have to hide the way you felt for me anymore?" she questioned, sniffling and wiping her eyes. "So, am I the only one who has been hiding stuff?"

"Oh, come on! Are you serious? Do me a favor." John said, snickering before he closed the distance between them and inched towards her until their faces were mere inches apart. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel the same way about me!" he whispered, his breathe tickling her bare neck.

Being that close to him was almost too much for her to bare. She could hardly control herself as it was; to make matters worse, she inhaled deeply getting a scent of his cologne, which overtook her senses. She felt her heart beating faster, her pulse quicken before she remembered the words he had just spoke to her.

"_**I don't know that I can trust you, Apryl."**_

She felt the tears subside and the anger taking over, as she cocked her head to the side and smiled. Those words hurt worse than she had imagined, but instead of dwelling on the hurt and becoming emotional, it only infuriated her, causing her to get angrier.

"I don't feel the same way about you!" she stated firmly before turning on her heel and storming into her bedroom, leaving a battered and bruised John to stare after her in her wake.


	9. Solution

Somehow, he always had managed to do it. It had all started with _him_ being angry, hurt and overwhelmed. Now, the tables had turned somehow and although he was still very much upset and hurt, he was no longer angry with Apryl; she was the one with her defenses up and delivering cheap shots and low blows. How she had managed to get him so wrapped up in her was beyond him; it blew his mind even thinking about it.

On top of all that, by the end of the week, he found out he was a father. That overwhelmed him, but excited him to no end. He had always wanted children of his own someday, and even if it had happened differently than he had expected, he wouldn't change it for anything in the world. When he thought of having children of his own however, he always pictured himself married, or at least dating the mother of his child.

Even though that wasn't the case, he still wouldn't take anything back.

As he continued to sit in the rush hour traffic, he glanced over to the passenger seat where Shawn had fallen fast asleep. It had been a long exhausting day for the both of them, between the zoo, Chucky Cheese's and the mall; John didn't care if he came out of his house for the next three days.

Her words still echoed aimlessly in his head, bouncing back and forth like a ping pong ball, almost ridiculing and teasing him. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't the glare she displayed on her face as she said she wasn't interested in him. Somewhere deep down, he still held onto hope. He wasn't sure if it was his mind playing even more tricks on him, but something refused him of letting go.

This, in all honestly, was fine for him. It wasn't like he was holding out to hear her answer and if he was rejected he would move on to the next available female. It had never been like that for him where Apryl was concerned. And, he was pretty certain it never would be like that.

However, he had to move on and push things to the back burner. He had to force himself to move on, or else everything was going to drive him insane. He knew once he returned to work, his time would be more occupied and things might not rattle around as much, but she had never been far from his thoughts before, and he knew now more than ever, she never would be far from his heart, either.

"_If you just realize what I just realized…"_

His thoughts were interrupted as the familiar ringtone began ringing. He signed before reaching inside his pocket to flip the cover open and answer it.

"Yeah." he answered, not sure of how to even begin a conversation with her anymore.

"Hey, John. Sorry to call you like this, but um…." she began, before getting hung up on her words, not able to finish.

"No, it's okay, Ape. What's up?" he asked, wondering what the nature of her calling could be about.

"Well…" she trailed off. "Where do I start?"

"Um, how 'bout the beginning?" John offered, snickering to try and lighten the mood.

"Yeah, I just don't know where the beginning is anymore." she exhaled. "Um, well, I got a call just a few minutes ago about something sort of urgent. I was wondering if you could keep Shawn for a couple days."

He was taken aback for a moment. Sure, he had kept the boy on many occasions, but something sparked inside him at the mention of him keeping Shawn. Something, before now, never would have been in his train of thought, but considering the circumstances and the current turn of events; it passed his brain now and worried him slightly. He would be caring for _his son _for a few days.

That startled him slightly, but what startled him even more was the sense of urgency in her voice, as if she wasn't telling him something. Something major and big that given any other time, he would have been the first person to know.

"Um, yeah, sure." he finally agreed, not able to say much more than that.

"Thanks. I'll be out of town until Friday, but I'll be back probably that evening." she said.

"Okay, so when do you leave and where are you going?" he asked, almost begging her to tell him more information than what she was giving.

"I leave tonight on the red eye to Chicago." she offered causing John to groan inwardly.

"Um, alright, I guess. I've got clothes and stuff for him at the house. Is there anything I need to know that perhaps, I should?" he asked, almost hoping she would supply him with more information without him pushing any further.

"Not that I know of. But, I'll get a hold of you as soon as I get back into town." she said. "John, I wouldn't have even asked you, but mom was working all week and your dad is busy helping Boog move the rest of his stuff downtown, so I didn't want to bother him."

"Really, it's okay. No problem." he said, gripping the steering wheel.

"Well, tell Shawn that mommy loves him and I'll call tomorrow morning sometime when I get settled. Thanks again, John." she said, before she hung up.

She wasn't about to supply him with any more information than needed. Besides, she wasn't even sure if her decision was final. But, before she made any rash decisions, she had to at least check the information out for herself in order to weigh her options.

Shawn would be supplied with the best in private schooling available, and that excited her. She lived and breathed her son, so anything that was considered the best for him, she was all for. Her studio apartment was fully furnished, which meant she would have to get a storage unit somewhere in Boston if she decided to move, to hold the things she had accumulated from her divorce. And, they pay.

Who could argue with the salary she was guaranteed after her 90-probationary period. It was a salary she only dreamed of and knowing it would only benefit she and Shawn, she was all for that!

Getting the call from the Publishing House in Chicago was a dream job for her, and considering everything that had happened over the last week between her and John regarding Shawn, she knew it may help things a little. She didn't see it as running from her problems. John had handled himself the way he needed to and in some ways, she understood that.

Who was she to argue with that?

The only thing she did regret was lying to his face about her feelings, but considering the mixed emotions that was scattered about as it was, she didn't figure that now was the time to admit to anything to complicate the situation any further. She didn't see that as being the smart decision.

She had been one to always thing with her head, to weigh every last option. She had been what most considered as cautious, and there was nothing wrong with that. The one time she let her guard down; it resulted in her getting pregnant. The second time, she ended up married, which ended in disaster. She knew the third time, if it happened, she was going to make that decision wisely and consider every last pro and con before jumping into anything.

She knew to some extent, she hadn't considered all the options or weighed her decision carefully like normal where John was concerned. She was almost certain she had her feelings under control at least, but she was amazed at how they continued to grow and her heart only ached for him more and more. It was something she had to control and even if John was none the wiser and it seemed as if the situation was controlled, she knew better.

She couldn't fight it too much longer and she wasn't sure what the outcome would be. As if things weren't bad enough at the time being, she knew it would only complicate and alienate their friendship even further. And she wasn't about to let that happen.

That's why she was leaning more towards moving to Chicago in hopes of restarting a part of her life and to fix what mistakes had already been made.


	10. You Owe Me

**"I don't know that I can trust you, Apryl."**

She rolled her eyes and banged her hand on the steering wheel. She had been sitting in traffic for well over an hour now, which put a damper on her thoughts of moving to Chicago. According to her directions, her location was about four building down, however the massive traffic jam she was sitting in prevented her from finding a parking spot, which would allow her to get out of the blistering, hot SUV.

And, besides the traffic jam that was an irritation, she couldn't get that one single phrase out of her mind. She had never expected John to utter those words to her, but in reality, he had. Everything seemed to spiral downhill after she told him the secret. Everything had gotten so mixed up and confusing to the point of change and heartache; change she didn't like and heartache that was devastating to no end. It seemed once those fatal words were out of his mouth, it was downhill explosion of another lie she had covered up from being hurt once more.

She wasn't sure moving to Chicago would solve her problems, but something needed to be done and the way she and John were acting, well, it wasn't working to say the least. It was almost like a Godsend that she got the call from the Clearing House, almost begging her to accept and move in a moment's notice. Realistically, she couldn't do that because of her son and the ties they had at home. However, she knew she at least owed it to herself to check it out before deciding anything.

She knew John wouldn't like it and their families; well, they would probably hate it even more. Her safest bet was the Cena clan would be very vocal if she took the job and moved, especially after finding out Shawn was a member of their family. It was quite shocking they harbored no ill feelings towards her, and it eased her mind and the pain slightly.

She had never meant to hurt anyone; it wasn't in her nature to hurt anyone, especially those who were close to her. She was relieved that Shawn had accepted the news so well and John was equally as happy considering the circumstances. The only affected area was where their relationship was concerned.

_Their relationship._

That didn't even make sense to her at this moment in time. Could she even refer to John as anything anymore? In her book, yes; without a shadow of a doubt. However, that decision was left up to John. Over the past week, it seemed the only thing they were good at was hurting each other. And, partly, she admitted to herself she was wrong.

John had been nothing but honest from her from day one. He admitted his feelings in his own time and she respected that in part. During their entire friendship, she had never known him to stay quiet about anything, as he had always turned to her from girlfriends and relationship advice to the time he was in the hospital dealing with a very embarrassing issue. But, he still made it a point to turn to her.

All she did was lie to him. And the more she thought about it, the better she was getting at doing so. At least he admitted his feelings for her. When they started, she wasn't sure. Everything had happened so quickly when they argued that she didn't focus on every last word that was spoken. However, she was able to remember the hurtful things that were said; those things that angered her and broke her heart.

Perhaps, that was her way of dealing with what she had done. The more she had pondered on the thought, she realized what she had done was completely wrong on many levels. By her remembering the hurtful things John spoke to her, in her mind, it somehow put them in the same category. But, no matter how hard she fought it, she knew she was clearly the one at fault. She had lied about their son and she had lied about her feelings for him – directly to his face, nonetheless.

She wasn't even sure how to fix the mess she had made. John really couldn't be to blame for anything. He was only acting out in retaliation to everything he had learned and the hurt he experienced himself. He was being truthful about his anger. He had reasons for not wanting to speak to her; a fact she knew and painfully understood.

She wasn't sure she could live her life without John or his family. She wasn't sure Shawn could either, for that matter. She knew the way she felt. She had known ever since the night they had slept together, so many years ago. However, she had done the same thing he had by hiding it from him.

Why she wasn't able to tell before now was beyond her. It seemed so small now. Such a petty thing not to be able to admit that to him. She knew he felt something for her, but instead of her being honest; she got caught up in the lies and hurt and did the one thing she never thought she was capable of – lying to his face.

Finally finding a parking spot, she cut the engine and exited the car, ready to get a full night's sleep before catching a plane home the next morning. Her meetings had gone relatively well, besides the massive amount of tension and stress she was currently dealing with. She had managed to push that aside as best as possible, ensuring her to listen and retain as much information from the interview as possible.

The job almost sounded too good to be true and at the end of the meeting, she was given the job. Ms. Snyder, the elderly lady who ran Hard Paper Inc., was eager for her to start right then and there, but after explaining her situation, she allowed Apryl to think things over and return at her disposal, if she agreed in taking the job. It was the job of her dreams, to say the least. She loved writing fiction novels, and this would allow her to do so for the nationally publicized magazine, even giving her the allowance to write two novels of her own over a four year span.

The contract had already been drawn up and was safely inside her briefcase she clung within her fists. She would definitely look over that later this evening over room service. She had a nagging feeling that hindered her from feeling completely comfortable and happy with the job. What it was she wasn't sure, but careful thought would be taken before any decision was made.

She was brought away from her thoughts upon hearing her cell phone buzzing inside her purse. She fished it from her bag and smiled at the name displayed on the screen before flipping it open and answering.

"Hello, sweetie." she greeted eagerly.

"Not exactly the greeting I was expecting, but hello to you, too." John's voice rang from the other end, although any evidence of amusement was not evident.

"Oh, it's you. Sorry, I thought it might be Shawn." she uttered. "What's up?"

"Well, I was calling to find out what time you might be home tomorrow?" he asked.

"Should be at the airport by 3 tomorrow afternoon. I'll be by to get Shawn by 5." she answered evenly.

"You gonna tell me what was so important for you to jet-set off to Chicago?" he asked, the anticipation evident in his voice.

"I'll explain everything tomorrow. Actually, there is some things I think we need to talk about." she replied, unsure of how she would drop this bombshell.

"You don't have any more kids floating around that might be mine, do you?" he asked, his voice full of sarcasm, but the words cutting straight to her core.

"You are such a dick, John!" she almost shouted. "What the hell was that about? Oh, that's right! You can't trust me!"

"You did that one yourself." he huffed. "And, you know, I'll accept that I'm a dick, but at least I'm a truthful dick!"

"Is there anything else you would like to cut me down for, John?" she asked, the pain causing her to tear up slightly. "Really? God, I'm not asking you to accept my decision, but I'm asking that you trust I was thinking of you and my son! You know I would never intentionally do anything to hurt…" she stopped when she heard John cough and a laugh expel from his end of the phone.

"Anything to hurt me?" he finished for her.

"If you can't trust that, you should know me damn well enough to know I would do nothing in this world to intentionally hurt my son! You know me that well! I may have made the wrong decision and I may have made a mistake! Hell, John I may even be a bitch, but I am not heartless!" she screamed.

"No, I'll give you that one." he agreed, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Thank you. At least that's something." she said, her voice just as soft.

"Listen, I'll just… see you tomorrow. We'll talk when you stop to get Shawn. Agreed?" he asked.

"Actually, can you have your dad watch him tomorrow afternoon so we can um, talk?" she asked.

"Um, yeah. I guess I can arrange that." he relented. "Apryl, before you go… I don't wanna argue anymore. There has to be some sort of…"

"Stop to this fighting?" she offered.

"Yeah. Something to where we don't lose…."

"Lose our friendship?" she asked, finishing his sentence once more.

"Exactly!" he chuckled, a small laugh escaping his lips. "I really want my best friend back and I think everything got blown up."

"Yeah, perhaps." she sighed. "Well, listen, I haven't eaten and I wanna get a shower but we'll talk tomorrow and hopefully get everything worked out. Please give Shawn and kiss for me and tell him I love and miss him."

"I will." he replied. "Oh, Apryl?"

"Yeah, John." she asked before expelling a yawn.

"I ask one thing of you tomorrow when we talk and everything that has happened... it's something small I ask of you and I think you owe me that much." he said.

"Okay, yeah, I owe you." she agreed.

"Tomorrow, please above all else…" he sighed, before continuing in barely a whisper. "…please, be honest with me. Can you do that? For me?"

She sighed, realizing it was time everything was put to rest and knew this moment would come sooner or later. It was time for her to be honest with John about her feelings and coming clean and admitting to lying to his face.

"Yeah, John. I can do that." she agreed, before they said their good-byes and hung up.

She flung herself backwards on the large, king-sized bed, sighed and closed her eyes. Everything would come to a head tomorrow. She would admit her feelings to John and apologize for lying to his face. She would apologize again for not telling him about Shawn. The other truth she would have to admit to was something that scared her slightly. It tied Shawn, her pregnancy and her feelings all in one.

She had had feelings for John the entire time and managed to hide them away ever since high school. She had been in love with John Cena for the past 10 years.

She sighed once more but finally rose from the bed and relented to the bathroom, begging the warm spray of the showerhead to take away her tension and stress, at least for the time being. She knew tomorrow was a different ball game and she would have to tell John about Chicago and her job offer. Where they would go and what her decision would be was weighing on their talk and what would happen.

Needless to say, for the first time since she could recall, Apryl was terrified.


	11. Decision

It was true. He had been dreading this moment for almost hours. He wasn't sure what to expect any more when it came to him and his best friend. He had gone over the questions and the possible conversation in his head, but he didn't want to get his hopes up on nothing. It wasn't in his nature to let something bother him; he was normally able to push it to the back of his mind and work around everything. But, he and Apryl had never argued and had never been to the point they were at now. This could possibly tear his world apart in one single evening.

He had dropped his son with the elder Cena earlier that afternoon. He had been more than happy to take the boy, saying he wanted to take him for an early dinner and the old movie theater, which was playing their favorite, _Peter Pan. _John had chuckled to himself, knowing the two would have a great evening together, but once he got back into his car and made the short drive home, his nerves began to unravel and he was anticipating the moments ahead.

He looked at the clock for the hundredth time that evening and realized any minute now she would be coming through his front door. He wasn't even prepared for it himself. He wasn't sure if his relationship could be salvaged at this point, but he was willing to put everything behind him and make his best effort. He wasn't upset anymore after learning the huge secret and he knew in some way she was relieved it was out in the open.

He was more confused at their status and how she felt. He was hoping above all else they would attempt to address those issues as well, but he wasn't betting on anything. At this point, he wanted his dear friend back almost at any costs. He was not willing to lose that for anything in the world.

He heard the tires hitting the gravel outside and knew she was pulling into his driveway. He wiped the palms of his hands across his jeans before making his way towards the door, standing a few feet from the threshold. He figured he might as well cut to the chase and get everything out at once.

She knocked lightly on the heavy, wooden door before letting herself in, smiling lightly as their eyes met. He returned the small gesture before taking lead and making his way into the living room. He sat on the edge of the couch waiting for her to follow suit. She sat across the room from him in the over-sized chair.

He noticed the small smile had faded and was replaced with a look of worry. Her foot was bouncing uncontrollably, a sign that she was nervous as well. He breathed a small breath outward before clearing his throat, causing her to look up into his eyes, the look of worry still plastered across her face.

"John…"

"Apryl…"

She giggled slightly, the sound causing John's heart to flutter slightly. It was a sign he could still make her smile at least, and the redness that was appearing on her cheeks he took equally as a good sign.

"You go first." he urged.

"Are you sure?" she asked, looking up from her hands.

"Yeah, hon. I want to hear what you have to say." he assured her.

"Well, okay. I'm not even sure where to start, really." she began, her eyes searching the living room, as if the answers would be written on the walls.

"Well, how about you tell me why you went to Chicago." he said, eager to know the truth for her leaving.

"Well, yeah, about that…" she sighed, trailing off.

"Sweetheart, you have never been like this in front of me. You're nervous and anxious, a little stressed and worried. That worries me a little bit." he rambled. "You want me to go first?"

"Please." she begged, the smile spreading across her face again, a sense of relief evident on her fragile features.

"Well, okay." he said, scratching his head lightly. "I feel like we've started to address the issues of you and me. I think that has been hidden for a long time, maybe far too long."

"John…" she interrupted.

"No, please. Let me finish." John pleaded. "I don't want to lose our friendship. Yes, I was mad at you after you told me about Shawn. But, you have to know I would have never deserted you two and I would never have regretted any decision I would have made regarding that. I would have handled that the way I handle everything else in my life."

"I know, John. And, I'm so very sorry I didn't give you the chance to prove that 6 years ago. That is something I can never give you or Shawn back. Please, forgive me for that." she said in barely a whisper.

"I do and I did from the moment you really told me. You know me! I can never stay mad at you, Ape! But, I did have a right to be upset and well, shocked! I am so thrilled to be a father. It's more than I ever expected, actually." John said, the dimples on his cheeks shining. "But, all that aside, I forgive you and I want to move past that. I want to finally clear the air about the way I feel, Apryl."

"John, please, let…" Apryl began, putting her hands up.

"Apryl, just listen, please. I can't do it anymore!" John exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and standing, where he began to pace the floor. "I have done this for so long and it's been driving me insane ever since. I have to get this out."

"John, I don't know what…"

"I don't want you to say anything until I'm finished, please." he said, turning around eyeing her, as she simply shook her head. "Thank you. Ya know, for so long, I have fought these feelings off and said it would never be returned by you, that you could never feel the same way. I didn't tell you partly in fear, but partly because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. Ever since that night of our graduation when we slept together, I have felt something for you. Ya know, it even goes further back than that. I dated so many girls in high school, but for some reason none of them compared to you and you were still the one person, my backbone, that constant that stood by me through thick and thin. Over time, I developed these massive ass feelings for you that I can just ignore anymore."

"John, please…." Apryl pleaded once more.

"Apryl, please listen!" John pushed. "I can't do it anymore! I have fallen for you, head over heels and I can't deny it, won't pretend and can't fight it anymore. I miss you when I'm gone, but my heart flutters and the world stops when I see you enter a room or when I return from off the road. I really would love to give this a try."

John knelt down beside her and grabbed her hand, taking it in his own. He cupped her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him. He saw the tears lining her eyes, the sight almost breaking his heart in pieces. He wasn't sure why she would react this way, but he had already gone this far; he wasn't about to stop. He brushed a strand of hair from her facing, tucking it behind her ear and offered a soft smile.

"I know you feel something, too even though you denied it to me once." he said in a hushed tone. "Apryl, please trust me on this. I think it's a little more than feelings at this point. Apryl, I'm in love with you."

She looked up at him then, the look of shock written across her face. She couldn't deny that he had taken her breathe or the fact that her heart felt like it had skipped several beats, but that wasn't why she had come over to talk to him. After the words he had just uttered, it had made things even harder for her.

"John, Shawn and I are moving to Chicago."


	12. The Truth

John wasn't even aware he was moving. He found himself suddenly standing from his knelt position in from of her and pacing the floor, her words echoing in his mind. A wave of confusion took over him, as he wasn't prepared for her to say those words.

How could she move to Chicago when her entire life had been Massachusetts? How could she take Shawn from his home, his family?

"John, that's what I had to tell you." Apryl said, barely above a whisper, as she stood from the chair, making her way in front of him.

"Chicago?" John asked, finally able to find his voice. "How did-"

"I had a job interview in Chicago for a publishing company. They offered me, what quite possibly could be my dream job, John. I could give Shawn everything he deserves; the best in life." she gloated.

"Ape, this is all happening so fast." John said, leaning against a nearby wall, resting his head against the it and closing his eyes. "God, you never cease to amaze me, that's for sure!"

"John, what do you want me to do? Turn the job down!" she spat out.

"I didn't say that, but Jesus.." John retaliated, pulling himself off the wall, facing her. "..excuse me for thinking we might actually get everything worked out now! I just found out about Shawn! My family just found out about Shawn and now you're moving to where they will barely see him?"

"You don't think that makes my decision that much harder? I have pondered on this all night and even on the flight home! I need to provide for my son, John!" she cried.

"And you don't think I won't help you?" John asked, becoming furious.

"I'm not saying you can't help, but I will not sit back and let you provide for him while I do nothing! John, God..." she exclaimed, running her fingers through her long tresses.

"You know..." John said, snickering slightly. "...I just told you I am in love with you. I never, in a million years figured you would responded by telling me you and my son are moving halfway across the country."

"What difference does it make? Really, John! You're hardly ever home and your job has you traveling all over the country! What is the difference?" Apryl asked, wide-eyed.

"Oh, we're going there, are we?" John growled.

"You're doing what you love to do, making a living by doing so, correct?" Apryl asked.

"Yeah, and you're point?" John crossed.

"My point is why can't I do the same thing?" she replied, a softer tone in her voice.

"I'm not saying you can't." he said, sighing. "Look, all these, once again, threw me off guard. I thought, once again, we were finally gonna get everything in the open and instead, it seems like more shit is getting thrown into the mix. Ape, I just don't know what to do anymore."

He flopped down onto the couch, leaving Apryl to follow close behind. She sat next to him, a look of intent across her features. She wanted to reach out and touch him so badly and she wanted to admit everything within her heart that much more. He was right. The entire situations had gotten so confusing over the past couple of weeks and she knew John would be returning on the road soon enough. If they continued on the path they were taking now, there would be nothing left worth saving, no friendship, much less anything to explore.

"John, I don't want to do this anymore." she urged, reaching out and grabbing his hand. She squeezed it lightly, offering a small smile when his eyes finally found her's. "I am so sorry for not telling you about our son sooner. I'm sorry you're family missed out on that."

"Ape, I told you, baby, I forgive you for that." he sighed. "All this bickering and arguing has really gotten to both of us. I just want to clear the air and save what we have."

"Me too, John." she agreed.

"I asked you to be truthful with me, and so far, you have. Ape, I need to know how you feel though or else I'm going to go insane." he grinned. "Please, just be honest with me."

"John, you don't have to beg me. You know me, even with the bad decision I made. Regardless and with that aside, I will always be truthful with you. You know that, right?" he asked, squeezing his hand harder.

"Yes, Ape, I do." John nodded. "I'm sorry for the comment I made the other day."

"Thank you." she sighed with relief. "So you wanna know how I feel?"

"Yeah, I do. We'll deal with the Chicago thing in a minute, but God, I have to know this first." he said, as he positioned himself on the sofa, facing her.

"Well, ever since that night and even before that, I have had feelings for you. I've always pushed them aside and then when you left, I figured they would just go away. I got married had Shawn and everything was okay for a while. You would come in from time to time and you know, it wasn't the greatest, but I still managed to fight them off, John." she stopped, pushing the hair from her face as her eyes darted around the room, trying to find the right words.

"Do you still have feelings for me?" John asked as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Jesus, John, are you blind?" she asked, offering a slight smile. "Yes, I still have feelings for you. It has gotten to the point where I can't fight it anymore and instead I wind up fighting with you because at least I'm getting out some sort of explosive emotion towards you. Jesus, you kissed me outside at your dad's that day and..." she trailed off, closing her eyes.

"And, what?" he asked, wanting to hear more.

"And it's like the Earth stopped moving and it was just you and me stuck in the moment. You take my damn breath away and sometimes it hurts so bad, but it's the best feeling in the world. I've only felt that one other time and that was for my son!" she said, shaking her head.

"So, what do we do about this?" he asked, his hand falling to rest on her thigh.

"That just it! I don't know. I can't fight it and I sure as hell can't live my life without you in it. But, I can't take it knowing your with someone else and I can't live just being your best friend anymore. I don't wanna ruin the relationship we have now, and I wonder if it's worth even pursuing because of how close we are. John.." she said, trailing off.

He didn't opt to speak any words. Instead, his hands caressed her cheek before his fingers traced the fullness of her lips. The small smile played on the corners of his mouth as she felt her breath coming quicker from the slightest of touches he was leaving behind.

"Apryl, I can't do it anymore." he whispered, bringing his hands down around her waist before pulling her onto his lap.

"John..." she whispered, breathlessly.

"I don't care if you live in Alaska with the penguins and polar bears..." he said, snickering at his own joke. "...I still couldn't do it. I can't live without you and I can't settle for a friendship anymore."

"What are you saying?" she asked, her forehead resting against his.

"I'm saying I want to be a family with you and our son. I'm saying no more lies, no more games, no more fighting it." he said.

"Oo—okay." she muttered, the words becoming lost in her throat as her heart beat wildly inside her chest.

"But..." he spoke clearly, pushing her backwards slightly to stare into her eyes. His hands found their way to her hips where they rested, as he cleared his throat. "...I gotta hear you say it."

She smirked slightly before leaning towards him, closing the distance between them once more. Her lips lingered dangerously close to his lips before she allowed hers to brush his slightly, sending a jolt of electricity down his spine. Her lips trailed his jawbone, where she left small, subtle kisses along the way until she reach her target. She exhaled slowly, the hotness of her breath against his ear sending him into a daze. She leaned even closer before placing a small kiss on his ear lobe.

"I love you, John Cena." she whispered huskily in his ear. "I always have and I always will."

A moan escaped from his lips, before his tongue darted from his mouth, claiming the open flesh of her neck. The sensation sparked a fire deep within her, as she arched her back, a moan escaping her own lips. She allowed herself to lean further into his body as his hands slipped to her bottom, where he grabbed firmly.

"No..." she whispered breathlessly, pushing on his chest softly before creating the distance between them once more.

"What?" he asked, followed by a look of confusion.

"I wanna hear you say it." she played.

He gave his own smirk before removing his hands from her rear. He wrapped his hands around her before laying her down on the leather sofa, his body hoovering over hers. He licked his lips slowly before kissing the exposed flesh of her naval. She felt the chills taking over her body as he continued to kiss between the skin of her breasts to her neck. He allowed his lips to place small kisses on her jawbone to her ear where he finally came to a stop.

"I'm..." he finally spoke, before sucking gently on her earlobe. "...in love..." he spoke again, kissing the corner of her mouth. "...with you." he finished, as he stared intently into her eyes before his lips finally claimed hers.

"John..." she moaned against his lips, his hands devouring her body.

"What baby?" he asked, breathlessly, his hands claiming her breasts, as he claimed her lips again.

"Make love to me." the words escaped her mouth in a breathless whisper.


	13. The End?

*6 Weeks Later*

"Shawn, please, for the love of God, pick up your stuff!" she pleaded for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past 30 minutes.

Looking around the spacious living room, it was a clutter of boys' toys and laundry baskets, heaping of clothes begging to be folded. Shawn sat across the living room, a toy placed in his lap and his feet on the back of the leather sofa, as he eagerly continued to play with his action figures, ignoring his mother's words.

"Are you even listening to me?" she asked, before jogging towards to phone that was ringing from the kitchen counter. "Hello?"

"You sound outta breath! What's going on?" came John's voice from the other side of the receiver.

"Take your pick. Let's see I have laundry needing to be folded, Shawn's toys are scattered everywhere and he just refuses to pick them up for some reason, I have dinner to be made, dishes that need put away…" she trailed off, relieving a long sigh.

"Well, cancel dinner off that list." came a husky voice from behind her.

She whipped her head around, her hair swinging over her shoulder. Her eyes met the crystal blue orbs of John, who was standing mere inches from her, holding plastic bags in either hand. A smirk played at the corners of her mouth before she shut her cell phone, returning it to the counter and wrapping her arms around the large man's neck.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, giving him a small kiss on his cheek.

"Well, I got a few days off from the road before our overseas tour and I thought to myself, 'Boston or Chicago?'" he chuckled, as he placed the bags on the counter. "And you weren't lying about the laundry. My God, baby, I told you to get rid of some of that shit when you moved!"

"I know, I just haven't gotten to it. But on a brighter note, I'm glad you decided to come here." she smiled. "Maybe you can get that son of yours to pick up his sh—"

"Hey, hey!" he cut in, playfully shaking a finger at her. "Have patience!"

"Patience, my... butt! I have told him like 50 times and what's he doing?" she asked, staring past John to look into the living room at her son, who hadn't budged from his spot on the sofa. "Nothing! He's been glued to that spot for over a half hour. It's like he's ignoring me or something!"

"I'll take care of little man. You get dinner ready and we'll eat, alright?" he replied softly, placing a kiss on her forehead before closing the distance between the two rooms to his son.

She sighed before relenting to his words, taking the Chinese take-out from the bags and grabbing some plates from the dish drainer. As she divvied out the fried rice on the plates, an image from years ago came to her. Recalling of the times when she was pregnant with Shawn and remembering how scared she was to become a mother. She had wanted to tell John the secret then, but she could never bring herself to doing it. She had been so scared becoming a mother, but it was something that she took serious; he was the most precious gift in her life.

Well, and John. She couldn't forget about him. He had been wonderful with her decision of moving and even after the got things squared away and became a couple, he supported her every decision and the reason to her moving from their hometown. It was difficult at times. When he was able to break away from his own job and visit, it was of course, easier. But, the fact still remained they had been completely honest with each other about their feelings and were happy, no matter how many miles were between them.

"Space cadet!" John said, his fingers coming into view, the snapping noise breaking her from her daydreams.

"Huh?" she shrugged, smiling slowly.

"Where were you?" he asked, taking a plate and placing it in front of Shawn, who was now seated at the table, eagerly waiting his food.

"Just… thinking." she replied, smiling. "I see you got him peeled away from his toys long enough to eat."

"Yeah." John replied, giving a loving glance at the boy. "I don't know why I didn't notice before now, but he does look like me."

"Oh, whatever!" Apryl said, slinging the dish towel at his stomach before retrieving the other two plates and making her way to the kitchen table. "That boy looks more like his momma than anything!"

"Whatever, princess!" John said, taking the seat across from her. "He got the good genes, thank you!"

"Oh, did he?" Apryl asked playfully, receiving a nod from John. "Remember that later when you want me to get into those jeans!"

"Oh, you wouldn't!" he chuckled.

"I would… and you know it!" she said smiling, taking a bite of her eggroll.

John smirked in her direction before placing his spoon into the rice and giving her an evil glare. She looked at him intently, her eyes glaring across the table at him, but the playful smile still evident on her face. John raised the spoonful of rice in her direction, arching his eyebrows .

"You wouldn't!" she said, almost in a whisper.

"Wouldn't I?" he asked cockily.

Before either could say or do anything, rice hit the side of her hair, some of the grains hitting the floor. Her mouth dropped open, before both she and John looked in their son's direction. Shawn released a playful giggle at his mother before standing from the table.

"Daddy wouldn't do it, but I would!" the boy shrieked before running from the kitchen, Apryl and John hot on his tail.

"Shawn William!" Apryl called after him.

John scooped the boy up, blowing raspberries on his belly, causing Shawn to break into a fit of laughter. Apryl stopped to watch the scene before her and couldn't help but smile. The swelling in her heart erupted, giving her a feeling of extreme pleasure and happiness.

_**This is right, **_she thought to herself, shaking her head.

"That's my boy!" John hollered, as he placed Shawn on the ground and holding his hand out, allowing his son to give him a high five.

"Hey!" Apryl exclaimed, placing her hands on her hips.

"What?" both asked in unison.

"Don't what me!" she said, rolling her eyes and pointing her finger at them.

"Let's get her!" John urged, as both lurked towards her.

"Boys…" she warned, taking steps backwards.

"Get her!" Shawn yelled, running after his mother.

She erupted into a fit of giggles as John grabbed her waist from behind and tickling her to the ground, where Shawn joined in. They continued attacked her for another minute before both guys placed kisses on her cheek.

"You're grounded!" she said, ruffling her son's hair.

"Am not!" Shawn replied, sticking his tongue out.

"Well, maybe not." she replied, as John helped her from the floor. "But, at least help me clean this rice up."

"Alright, momma." he sighed with a smile.

As he picked up the last grain of rice, he popped his head up, looking in John's direction. John titled his head to the side, knowing his son was conjuring up a question or two of sorts.

"Daddy, when are you and mommy getting married?" the boy asked, causing his parents to share a wide-eyes glance at one another.


End file.
